Gratitude Post

Things I'm  grateful for this week:

The chance to see a total eclipse of the sun

Friends

Family

Pets

Quiet time alone

My online support groups

Memories

Grocery delivery services

Books

Warmer weather

Things To Let Go Of Right Now

THINGS TO LET GO OF RIGHT NOW:

Worrying about what happened in the past.

The need to be in control of everything.

Fear of the unknown.

Unhealthy relationships.

The idea of a "perfect life."

Worrying about things I can't change.

Worrying what other people think of me.

Excuses.

My comfort zone.

Grudges.

Lazy habits.

Overscheduling myself.

Comparing myself to others.

Insecurities.

Fear of failure.

Clutter--figurative and literal.

Procrastination.

Pride

Gossip

Guilt and anger over past events

Trying to make everyone happy

Jealousy

Unrealistic expectations.

Who Am I? I'm The Girl...

 

I'M THE GIRL WHO...

dreams of her past.

loves chocolate chip cookies.

has never been able to make a meringue.

spends too much time online.

worries too much.

needs to learn to say no more often.

has never been a fan of pink.

wishes she was more organized.

is a master of procrastination.

owns more books than she'll ever be able to read, yet keeps buying more.

believes in working for what you want, no matter how long it takes.

prefers summer over winter.

loves lists.

hates to talk to anyone on the telephone other than family and a few close friends.

is a major nerd.

puts her family above everything else.

looks at the world through rose-colored glasses.

Fifty Things About Me

1) I've been writing poetry and stories since I was 10 years old.

2) I had my first poem published when I was 16 years old.

3) I've been married three times.

4) I've been divorced twice.

5) All three of my husbands are deceased.

6) I have three children and two stepchildren.

7) I have nine grandchildren.

8) I have three great-grandchildren and one on the way.

9) I have two cats, Ghost and Snow.

10) My favorite color is Carolina blue.

11) My favorite food is lasagna.

12) My favorite drink is sweet tea.

13) My favorite book is Gone With The Wind.

14) My favorite movie is Somewhere In Time.

15)  I have a bachelor's degree in elementary education.

16) I lived in Germany for three years, and my middle child was born there.

17) I enjoy writing poetry and short stories.

18)  I am working on my autobiography.

19) I have published a book of my poetry.

20) I was a guest on the Geraldo show in 1993.

21) I am a loyal friend.

22) I am sentimental.

23) I am emotional and sensitive, sometimes to extremes.

24) I am a hopeful romantic.

25) I am a giver, materially and emotionally.

26) I am amazing at remembering trivia.

27) I have a warped sense of humor.

28) I am  persistent.

29) I am forgiving (sometimes too much).

30) I am a better baker than a cook.

31) I have strong opinions and don't hesitate to share them.

32)  I am stronger than most people think I am, including myself.

33) I am trusting (again, sometimes too much).

34) I look for the best in everyone and everything.

35)  I wear my heart on my sleeve.

36)  I am a planner and a list maker.

37) I try to read at least 100 books a year.

38) I struggle with self-doubt.

39) "My" song has always been "I Made It Through The Rain," by Barry Manilow.

40) I was 25 years old before I found the courage to get my ears pierced.

41) In my teens, twenties, and thirties, I struggled with trying to gain weight and was often called anorexic. Except when I was pregnant, I never weighed more than 95 pounds until I was 40.

42) I love penguins, especially baby ones.

43) I enjoy attending the Renaissance Festival.

44) I'm a crazy, cock-eyed optimist.

45) I used to have a major phobia about crossing bridges.

46) I had eye surgery at age four, and again at eighteen, to tighten muscles and correct crossed eyes.

47) I never had a bridal shower, honeymoon, or baby shower.

48) I never learned to swim or to ride a bike.

49) Compared to others my age, I made some "unconventional" parenting choices.

50) I have always been a people pleaser.

 

My Tombstone

The topic may seem morbid, but I heard a quote the other day that I don't want to forget about, so I want to describe what I want my/our tombstone to look like one day. The kids already know that I want to be cremated and that when they take whatever ashes they want, they are to mix the remainder of mine with the remainder of Barry's and then bury us together. 

The tombstone I want will be a simple rectangle. It will say KANDER at the top. On the left-hand side, it will have Barry's name along with his birth and death dates, and on the right-hand side, my name along with my birth and death dates. In the middle will be a big heart with the phrase "Life isn't forever---LOVE IS."

That's it....short,sweet, and simple,but it says everything.

Clarifying A Few Things

Because of some comments I've gotten regarding my recent diagnosis of metastatic breast cancer, I decided it was time to give a bit of an explanation. 

Metastatic breast cancer is not a disease that can be cured. It is something that will have to be treated for the rest of my life, and there may be periods where the treatment will make me feel worse than the disease ever has. I may have to go through several different treatments--if one stops working to halt/slow disease progression, it will need to be abandoned for something new. I have no way of knowing how many times I will have to go through that process, or how long each treatment will be effective. Every person's course of treatment is unique to them.

The major thing to know is that this disease, or some type of complication from it, will most likely be my eventual cause of death.  I don't know when, and I try not to think about it very often, but it is a painful fact of the life I live now. 

If anyone has any questions, please don't hesitate to ask me. I don't mind talking about the disease, or my current treatment, or whatever else.

Checking In

You may have noticed that I haven't posted any blog posts this week. I was in the hospital Sunday, Monday and Tuesday with sepsis and a UTI. Since I got home Tuesday afternoon, I have been resting and recovering. I still feel weak, and I am having some side effects from the antibiotics I had to take. Thankfully those pills are finished now, so hopefully the side effects will disappear soon.

I've also decided that posting on a specific daily theme isn't working for me, so I'm going to still do daily posts, but the topics will be more random. I will start posting again on Monday, when I should be more rested and ready to get back into a normal routine.

Enjoy your weekend!!