Sunday, August 31, 2014

Health Update

I had a mammogram in March, and everything came back normal, as  have all my other tests since the mastectomy.

 I met with my plastic surgeon again this month, and we've scheduled my reconstruction for September 22nd. Because of the radiation, and the damage to the tissue that it caused, we're going to have to do a little more than what she had described to me in May of last year. The new plan involves removing muscle from the back, sliding it under the skin to the front to create new breast tissue, as well as bringing skin from the back along with the muscle to create breast skin. I will also have an expander put in place which we will have to inflate a couple of times to get it to the size we want, and then I'll go back in for a final surgery to place the implant AND lift the left side so that they will match. Plus I'll get my first....and likely when the doctor creates a nipple on the right side once I'm healed.  :)   
Will update on my health again when I'm home from the surgery and feel up to typing!!!

Highs And Lows Of August

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Day 31: Highs and lows of the month

Finally meeting Amy's future in-laws, and having lunch together.
Filling 100 book bags with school supplies for kids in need, with my Bible study group.
Lambert/Johnson family reunion
Hearing how excited Micheal is to go back to school on September 2nd.

Micheal's two week visit being cancelled at the last minute.
Neither Brian nor Samantha were able to attend the family reunion.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Books I'd Like To Read Before The Year Ends (30 Days Of Lists Blog Hop)

Some of the books I'd still like to get around to reading this year are:

Sisters' Fate by Jessica Spotswood

Takedown Twenty by Janet Evanovich

Top Secret Twenty One by Janet Evanovich

The Job by Janet Evanovich and Lee Goldberg

Invisible  by James Patterson

Silver Shadows by Richelle Mead

To see the rest of the blogs on the blog hop, go here.

Tuesday Ten #22--Goals For September

KinkyCherries: Tuesday 10

My Goals For September

1) To read and review at least ten more books (my list of books to review is getting a little out of hand at this point!)

2) To attend the Renaissance Festival before the 22nd.

3) To have the house deep cleaned before the 2nd.

4) Publish at least one post per day on this blog.

5) Keep my book blog as current as possible.

6) Try not to stress about spending two days in the hospital (reconstruction surgery on the 22nd, should be home on the 23rd)

7) Start taking photos off the hard drive and storing them on discs.

That's all I can come up with for now.  :)

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Venting My Frustration

I totally reached my breaking point yesterday! For the third time this summer, plans were made and then cancelled at the last minute, with a flimsy excuse we were just supposed to buy without question. In July it was my birthday which was missed, then earlier this month it was a two week vacation, and this weekend it's two family gatherings.  Coincidence?  I find it hard to believe that at this point.

Granted, I should expect this from this particular person, as she has a lifelong history of creating her own reality to suit her. But I especially thought the planned events this month would come off, as she knew how important they both were to me. It breaks my heart that I could have been so very wrong.

This weekend hurts the most, really.  I'm having another major surgery in about three weeks, and I was looking forward to having my entire family together for a couple of days, and getting some pictures to commemorate the time as well. I'm confident that the surgery will go great, but I also try to be realistic...any surgery is a risk, you know?

Anyhow.....I just wish that she would realize I'd prefer she hurt me with the truth of the matter than try to placate me with some story with so many holes it couldn't float in a puddle.  :(

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Coming Up In September

Here are the writing prompts I'll be using in September....I sort of lost my motivation for August, so I'm putting it down as a lost cause and will pick up again in September.  :)

1. It's the start of a new month, what do you hope to achieve by the end of the month?
2. Find Out More:Write about something you want to know more about, and find out more!
3. Country Description: Describe the country you are from or that you live in, both the good and the bad.
4. World Treasures: Write about what you treasure most in the world.
5. Lost Everything: What if you lost everything today? Write about what you would do.
6. One Year: What would you do if you had one year exactly to live?
7. If someone handed you an envelope containing the exact date and time of your death, would you open it? Why or why not?
8. List the pros and cons of becoming immortal.
9. If you had to move to another country, what things would you miss the most about where you live now?
10. Create a list of significant world events that have happened in your lifetime. Add a couple of images.
11. 9/11 where or what were you doing when the news broke all those years ago?
12. What would really help you right now?
13. Create a list of things you enjoyed as a teenager. Add a photograph of teenage you, the more embarrassing the better.
14. Do you remember the first time you accessed the internet?
15. Check out the keywords visitors are using to find your site, any weird ones? What is the most popular?
16. On a scale of 1 to Crazy, how addicted are you to Pinterest?
17. Are you the oldest, middle or only child? Talk about sibling
18. What is the last thing you do before bed?
19. Would you rather lose your blog or your photographs?
20. Do you have a favorite poem? Share it with is and why it is your favorite
21. Would you ever consider having plastic surgery to "stop" the signs of aging or just for purely cosmetic? Have you ever has cosmetic surgery?
22. If you could instantly know another language in the world, which would you chose?
23. Do you enjoy your job (or last job)?
24. What time of the day do you feel most productive and energetic?
25. If you could be given the option to never sleep again and not be tired would you take it, knowing you could never dream again?
26. Which would you rather have: a super-soft pillow or a warm fuzzy blanket?
27. Are you interested in genealogy? Do you have a family tree constructed?
28. If you were given $/£1 million in the morning to spend by midnight, what would you buy? Itemize the list if you can.
29. Are you a morning person or a night owl?
30. How has your month been?

Sunday, August 10, 2014

$100 Sephora Gift Card Giveaway~Enter Today~Ends 8/23

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$100 Sephora Gift Card Giveaway~Enter Today~Ends 8/23

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Thursday, August 7, 2014

Starting My Online Day

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  Day 7: When you first log onto the computer what do you normally do,sites you visit etc?

When I first get online, I check my email, delete the spam and read the rest. Then I go to Facebook to see if I have any messages. After that, I go to Goodreads, enter any newly listed giveaways I find interesting, check to see if I won anything for that day and edit my giveaway list to remove the ones I didn't win. Then it's back to Facebook to catch up on what was posted overnight, post a few things of my own, and respond to some posts on my parenting pages. It's pretty much the same routine every day.

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

My Dream Job

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  Day 6: What is your dream job?

My dream job is easy to describe, as I've lived it for over 28 years now. The things I wanted most to be when I grew up were a wife and mother...any other job I might have had was just filling time or making money. To be a wife and mother, that was what made/still makes my heart full to overflowing.

Everyone I'd grown up around made marriage and motherhood look easy (except for my own parents, who showed me the kind of marriage I DIDN'T want, but ended up experiencing twice). So when I got married, and then we added Brian to our family a short three months later (you know that first babies can come any time in the first year, right?), and I felt stressed, exhausted and overwhelmed, I was sure that I was a huge failure at being a parent.

Over the years, raising three very different children, guiding them through "broken" families and blended ones, bringing them to adulthood and watching them start down their own path, I've had many moments where I've felt as though I wasn't good enough at either being a wife or a mother. But fortunately, those moments have been far outnumbered by the ones where I have been content and happy, surrounded by love.

My wonderful children, and my current husband (who restored my faith in marriage AND in myself)....they are my dream job come to life.

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Bloggers Wanted ~ $100 Sephora Gift Card Giveaway ~ Short Sign Up (Closes 8/09) So Enter Today!

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My Favorite Flowers

My top ten favorite flowers:

1) Peach roses--my absolute favorite
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2) Lilacs
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3) Hydrangeas
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4) Daisies
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5) Tulips
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6) Daffodils
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7) Irises
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8) Violets
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9) Petunias
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10) Marigolds
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Monday, August 4, 2014

My Last Online Search

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  Day 4: What was the last thing you searched for online? Why were you looking for it?

The last thing I searched for was information about a major story happening in my hometown right now. I was looking for it because my mother called to tell me what had happened, gave me what info she had from television and newspapers, and wanted to see if there was anything further online (she doesn't have a computer or any sort of internet access). Out of respect for those involved, I won't go into details, but I will just say that it's quite a mess, and it looks like it will probably get worse before it gets better.

Sunday, August 3, 2014

My Broken Heart

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Day 3: What would you say to the first person who broke your heart?

This comes from my journal at that time, so it's a little raw, angry and emotional in places.

The main thing is, I shouldn't have let you take the coward's way out and just end things over the telephone. I deserved BETTER than that after everything we'd shared during the last year. I should have insisted you look me in the eye and tell me to my face that you never really loved me. Maybe I'm delusional, but I don't think you could have done it. I think that, seeing my face, and the pain that would have been so obvious when you looked at me, you would have either had second thoughts, or you would have had to admit that I was right all along--that when it came right down to having to make a choice, you couldn't give up the life you had, where you were comfortable, no matter how much you loved me. In the end, I was exactly what I always feared I was--your midlife crisis fling, enjoyed for a while and then tossed aside without so much as a second thought.

Is that all I was to you, really? Someone to massage your ego, to make you feel loved and wanted for a little while? Was everything you said to me for that year just a bunch of lies? Was I really THAT gullible and stupid?!?! 

No matter how hard I try to be that strong woman you helped me find, it's all just show these days. She's gone again, and in her place is that scared little girl, more lonely and more broken than before--because this time she put her REAL self out there for someone, trusting him to understand and support her, and once again she wasn't good enough, she didn't matter enough!!

Saturday, August 2, 2014

Just Me, Myself and I

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  Day 2: Do you need solitude?

Anyone who knows me very well knows that "quiet time" is a very important part of my life. I'm not a big people person at all, and there are times when being around large groups can totally sap all my energy, particularly if the gathering is a rather emotional one. After something like that, I need to come home, hide away from anything and everything, and regroup for a while.

As I've told people in the past, I could become a hermit with very little problem. I like the solitude of home more and more every day. Occasional interaction with small groups of people are okay, but no more than once or twice a week. I don't even like my solitude to be disturbed by unexpected phone calls most days!  LOL

Friday, August 1, 2014

Changing The Past?

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Day One: If you could go back in time 10 years would you change anything/warn yourself of things to come?

I don't believe in changing my past, even if it were possible. Everything that has happened in my life to this point has worked together to make me the person I am, with the life I have today. Even the smallest change could impact my present, and I'm not willing to take that risk. 

Sure, there are decisions I've made in the last 10 years that I now wish I hadn't made. It's tempting to want to go back and warn myself not to go there, but then I might miss out on the good things that came from those decisions, as well as the important lessons learned.
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