tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28477880012502696552024-03-18T11:40:13.729-04:00Snapshots Of A LifeI'm making PERFECT sense...you're just not keeping up!Teresa Kanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637414178733769112noreply@blogger.comBlogger121125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2847788001250269655.post-81120813538823090852024-03-18T00:00:00.034-04:002024-03-18T11:39:40.911-04:00Monday Minute<div style="text-align: center;"><img alt="images" border="0" src="https://i.ibb.co/ng1Vqyf/images.png" /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><u>What's on tap this week:</u><br /><b>Monday</b></div><div style="text-align: left;">Mom is coming to town<br />Bible study chat group<br />GriefShare group online</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><b>Tuesday</b></div><div style="text-align: left;">Blood draw and EKG<br />Appointment with oncologist</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><b>Wednesday</b></div><div style="text-align: left;">Dentist appointment</div><div style="text-align: left;"> </div><div style="text-align: left;"><b>Thursday</b></div><div style="text-align: left;">Mom heading home</div><div style="text-align: left;"><b><br /></b></div><div style="text-align: left;"><b>Friday</b></div><div style="text-align: left;"><b><br />Saturday</b></div><div style="text-align: left;"><b><br /></b></div><div style="text-align: left;"><b>Sunday</b></div><div style="text-align: left;"><b><br /></b></div><div style="text-align: left;"><u>Last week's highlights</u></div><div style="text-align: left;">Monday morning was my regularly scheduled yearly mammogram. For the first time since I found a lump in my right breast in 2013, I went into the room not feeling scared or anxious. After all, I already have metastatic breast cancer, so what news can I get that's gonna be worse? That afternoon I found out that a beloved aunt had passed away...that makes 4 family members since the day after Christmas. 2024 needs to knock it off! Monday night was another session of GriefShare--and this week I made it through the entire session without crying, which is a major accomplishment for me!</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">On Tuesday I went to Bible study, where we are studying the Max Lucado book "They Walked With God." Spent the afternoon cleaning, and the evening watching movies.<br /><br />Wednesday I vacuumed and dusted the entire first floor, walked to the library and back, sent St. Patrick's Day cards to Michael and Lucian, and watched movies. After dinner, went to women's Bible study at the church, where we studied the first two chapters of the book of James. Came home and watched another movie.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Thursday I slept in, then mopped the bathroom and kitchen. Took out the trash before the rain started. Watched the entire miniseries "Apples Never Fall" in the afternoon. Started a pot of black beans, which I can't wait to eat with some cornbread tomorrow. </div>Teresa Kanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637414178733769112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2847788001250269655.post-38535869818532054502024-03-15T00:00:00.001-04:002024-03-15T00:00:00.142-04:00Fiction Friday: Hope Lives On, Part One<div style="text-align: center;"><img alt="download-2" border="0" src="https://i.ibb.co/3fSRBpd/download-2.jpg" /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Fridays are going to be my day to share some of my writing, whether it be a story, a poem, or whatever. Hope you enjoy!</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">HOPE LIVES ON (Part One)</span></span></div><div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">By Teresa Kander</span></span></div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7ad4a7bb-9801-a34a-45f4-2269d8dbcd88" style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13px;"></span><br style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13px;" /></span><div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Hope trudges out the back door of the diner. The long shift had her head spinning, her legs weak. After she unlocked the car, she sensed someone’s presence. She turned, blinking twice, not believing what she saw.</span></span></div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><br style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13px;" /></span><div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“Will?” She was barely able to make the words come out of her mouth. “What are you doing here? How did you find me?”</span></span></div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><br style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13px;" /></span><div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">He pushed his blonde hair away from his twinkling green eyes and his mouth formed what Hope had once thought of as an impish grin. “You know what I always say--where there’s a Will, there’s a way.”</span></span></div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><br style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13px;" /></span><div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">She opened the car door then turned back to face him before getting in. “I’m sorry you wasted your time. I’ve got nothing to say to you.”</span></span></div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><br style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13px;" /></span><div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Hope’s mind was racing during the drive home. What did he want? How had he found her? What was she going to do? The knot in her stomach was growing, and the tears in her eyes threatened to spill over.</span></span></div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><br style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13px;" /></span><div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">She sighed, recalling her teen years in Ohio. She had dreamed of a career in the music industry, of being a pop star someday--but those dreams were broken and left behind, thanks to a disastrous relationship with Will. They fell in love, he introduced her to drugs, and her life went downhill from there. Now she was fresh out of rehab, working as a waitress and trying to put together a new life. She hadn’t seen Will since they were arrested, and she had certainly never expected to see him here in Arizona.</span></span></div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><br style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13px;" /></span><div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">She had to pull herself together. She was no longer the girl she used to be. No way would she let herself be moved by one short encounter. She knew she was stronger than that.</span></span></div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><br style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13px;" /></span><div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">By the time she got home, she had calmed her nerves and formulated a plan. She knew what had to be done, and just who could help her.</span></span></div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><br style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13px;" /></span><div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">As soon as Hope got inside her apartment and locked the door behind her, she picked up the phone and dialed a familiar number. The instant someone picked up, she had two words to say.</span></span></div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><br style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13px;" /></span><div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">”He’s here.”</span></span></div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><br style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13px;" /></span><div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“Are you alright, Hope?” The male voice the other end of the line was full of concern. “What happened?”</span></span></div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><br style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13px;" /></span><div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Hope described her brief conversation with Will, then asked “So what do I do now?”</span></span></div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><br style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13px;" /></span><div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“Just go on with your daily routine, as long as he doesn’t threaten you. I’ll be there tomorrow, and we’ll take care of the problem.”</span></span></div></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div>Teresa Kanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637414178733769112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2847788001250269655.post-55771286039024838032024-03-14T00:00:00.025-04:002024-03-14T00:00:00.153-04:00Thankful Thursday<div style="text-align: center;"><img alt="thankful-thursday-feat" border="0" height="240" src="https://i.ibb.co/yWh5SCX/thankful-thursday-feat.png" width="320" /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Today I am thankful for:</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">1) God's love</div><div style="text-align: left;">2) My family</div><div style="text-align: left;">3) My friends</div><div style="text-align: left;">4) Doctors</div><div style="text-align: left;">5) Medicine</div><div style="text-align: left;">6) Bird songs</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div> Teresa Kanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637414178733769112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2847788001250269655.post-83662050690853383332024-03-13T00:00:00.071-04:002024-03-13T00:00:00.302-04:00Whatever Wednesday<div style="text-align: center;"><img alt="download-1" border="0" src="https://i.ibb.co/t3PmB52/download-1.jpg" /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><b>I NEED TO RANT</b></div><div style="text-align: left;">This is going to be a bunch of random thoughts this week.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><b><br /></b></div><div style="text-align: left;">I am so tired of being treated like I'm invisible or disposable, or whatever the right word is. Certain people seem to think it's okay to dump all their hurt and anger on me regarding other people in their life, and then turn around, the next day, and parrot things those people have said to them, making me into a villain in their life. I don't need to be on a constant emotional rollercoaster right now.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I have feelings too, darn it! And right now, with everything I've been going through since Christmas, my emotions are all over the place all the time on their own. I don't need more drama, more anger, etc. It all brings me more tears, till I don't think I'm going to have any more tears left to cry--and then the whole cycle starts over and I find another river of tears comes pouring out. <br /><br />I am so worried that, when I'm gone, my kids are going to drift away from each other into their own little nuclear family bubble, and not stay in touch. It feels like I'm the only reason they ever spend time together, and I don't know if there is anything I can do to help them look at their relationships differently.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I wish that people would stop saying "You're so strong." I may LOOK strong when I am out in public, but that's just a coping mechanism. The truth of the matter is that I'm constantly on the verge of a breakdown. I cry almost every day, and I keep thinking that I might be better off if I just gave up on everything. I have to find just ONE thing every day as the reason to keep going. Life sucks right now!!</div>Teresa Kanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637414178733769112noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2847788001250269655.post-24733008774778628632024-03-12T00:00:00.016-04:002024-03-12T00:00:00.250-04:00Tuesday Ten: Things That Make Me Happy<div style="text-align: center;"><img alt="download" border="0" src="https://i.ibb.co/RB8jJ8b/download.png" /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><b>THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY</b></div><div style="text-align: left;"><b><br /></b></div><div style="text-align: left;">1. My family</div><div style="text-align: left;">2. My friends</div><div style="text-align: left;">3. My cats</div><div style="text-align: left;">4. Babies</div><div style="text-align: left;">5. Sloths</div><div style="text-align: left;">6. Hedgehogs</div><div style="text-align: left;">7. Penguins</div><div style="text-align: left;">8. Music</div><div style="text-align: left;">9. Poetry</div><div style="text-align: left;">10. Chocolate</div>Teresa Kanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637414178733769112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2847788001250269655.post-69909613273003595602024-03-11T00:00:00.126-04:002024-03-11T00:00:00.246-04:00Monday Minute<img alt="images" border="0" src="https://i.ibb.co/ng1Vqyf/images.png" />
<p>What's on tap this week: </p><p><b>Monday</b></p><p>Mammogram in the AM</p><p>Bible study chat group</p><p>GriefShare online group</p><p><br /></p><p><b>Tuesday</b></p><p>Bible study in the AM--current study is They Walked With God, Max Lucado</p><p><br /></p><p><b>Wednesday</b></p><p>Bible study in the PM--currently studying the book of James</p><p><b><br /></b></p><p><b>Thursday</b></p><p><b><br /></b></p><p><b>Friday</b></p><p><b><br /></b></p><p><b>Saturday</b></p><p><b><br /></b></p><p><b>Sunday</b></p><p>Church and small group</p><p><b><br /></b></p><p><b>Last week's highlights</b></p><p>Monday night was the third session of GriefShare online. I'm finding it very helpful in dealing with my grief--it's good to know that I'm not the only one feeling the way I do. I just hate that I end up blubbering every time I share something with the group. :(</p><p>Tuesday morning I went to a new Bible study with a couple of friends. Everyone was very welcoming. Then it was off to the hospital for bloodwork and an EKG. Once I got home, I started prep for the next day's colonoscopy. </p><p>Wednesday I had to get up at 4am to continue the prep, and I arrived at 9:45 for my endoscopy (scope of the esophagus) and colonoscopy. Once that was over, I had lunch with a friend at Frisch's. Dinner was a comfort meal of garlic bread, lasagna, and coconut cream pie.</p><p>Thursday was errand day: picked up a prescription, got a book from the library, and went to the bank (got my income tax refund!) Got two packages through Pink Ribbon Good--nontoxic cleaning supplies and a super lightweight vacuum. I also set up my first free meal deliveries through them. </p><p>Friday was a day of more medical news. My bone density test showed some issues with my bones, so the oncologist wants me to have an Xgeva injection once a month, but before I can start that I have to have a dental exam to make sure there are no issues with my teeth. So, on March 20th, it's time to see a dentist. Used my new vacuum today and swept the entire downstairs. Friday night I watched "Wonka" while dealing with bone pain---not sure if it's a med side effect or was from the temps getting cold again.</p><p>Saturday was laundry day, and I had to unclog a drain. (So much excitement--can you stand it? LOL) I also started decluttering and reorganizing my linen closet--completed 3 of 5 shelves. Hope to finish the rest on Monday. Had a short visit from my grandson, Michael, this afternoon, and he brought me a Taco Bell quesadilla courtesy of his mom, Samantha. </p><p>Sunday started out with pain in my neck that made it tough to get out of bed. Then a family issue had me crying like a baby---and all this was before 8:30 am. Went to church and small group, then came home and collapsed.</p>Teresa Kanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637414178733769112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2847788001250269655.post-34697982641170166112024-01-09T20:19:00.000-05:002024-01-09T20:19:11.958-05:00Saying Goodbye <p> My husband passed away on December 26, 2023. His Celebration of Life will be held on January 13, 2024. I already know I'm not going to be emotionally ready to stand up and speak, but tonight I put some thoughts down on paper and decided to share them here, where I can take as long to type them out as I need.</p><p>I want to start off with a poem I read online. If anyone knows the author, please let me know so I can add their name.</p><p>She waited</p><p>her entire life</p><p>to find somebody</p><p>she could sit with </p><p>in silence,</p><p>feeling wanted,</p><p>appreciated,</p><p>and adored,</p><p>and when</p><p>it finally happened</p><p>she knew very well</p><p>why it was worth the wait.</p><p><br /></p><p>Barry was definitely worth the wait. He was, other than my children and grandchildren, the best thing that ever happened to me. He was my rock, my confidante, my best friend, my everything.</p><p>For those of you who don't know, I met Barry online, in an email group. I enjoyed his sense of humor, but since he lived in Arizona and I lived in Ohio, I wasn't looking for anythingmore than friendship. Little did I know that God had very different plans for us.</p><p>Eventually, we moved on to private chats, where we spent hours getting to know each other better. One day, I asked Barry why he was spending so much time talking to me when he should be looking for someone closer to home to have a real relationship with. When he told me that he'd already found her, I actually asked him who she was and was shocked when he typed back "You, silly!"</p><p>Most people can't believe that we talked for six months, online and on the phone, before we ever exchanged photographs, but we both wanted to concentrate on things more important than looks. I will always be glad we made that choice because the first time I saw a picture of him, I discovered he was not my usual "type"--and I might have let that deter me from even talking to him early on, and I would have missed out on SO much!</p><p>Barry was always a giver, whether it was extravagant gifts for special occasions, my weekly bouquet of flowers, or just a candy bar or soda when he went to the gas station. And when my children still lived at home, he made sure they had their favorite snacks, or a ride to a friend's house, or whatever else he could do for them--including being the mediator when my anger got the better of me over something trivial one of them had said or done.</p><p>Barry was always my biggest cheerleader. He was the main reason I finally decided to publish a book of my poetry and stop h, unfortunately, is still a work in progress, but I will keep working on it, and I will finish my book of short stories as well.</p><p>Barry was generally a quiet man, but when he had something to say, he wasn't afraid to speak out. He had very strong opinions at times, and heaven help anyone who tried to change his mind--even me! But he also shared words of wisdom with those who were willing to listen, aGnd I pray they will remember his advice and continue to follow it.</p><p>Life is going to be different for all of us without him, but he would want us to keep living it and to be happy. I know that he is happy and healthy in Heaven, and I know I will see him again one day.</p><p>Goodbye for now, Barry. I will always love you.</p>Teresa Kanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637414178733769112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2847788001250269655.post-46113959072521706902020-09-03T05:02:00.003-04:002020-09-03T05:07:36.032-04:00Memories Of My Father<div style="text-align: center;"><img alt="Richard-Danner" border="0" height="335" src="https://i.ibb.co/vvT9X9m/Richard-Danner.jpg" width="290" /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>Richard Ward Danner</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>July 19, 1936-August 30, 2020</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><br /></b></div><div style="text-align: left;"> </div><div style="text-align: left;">My father was the reason I was not given the name Parthena at birth, and for that I will be eternally grateful, particularly since my mother wanted to call me "Par" for short. Can you just IMAGINE the teasing in junior high and high school? </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />I grew up as a typical "Daddy's little princess," knowing I was loved unconditionally and often spoiled shamelessly. He is the reason I love NASCAR, football, and baseball--all of those started as ways to spend time with him. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">My father encouraged my love of reading by taking me to the library on Saturdays to get a stack of books, allowing me to get the books I wanted, not just those considered at my age level. He also was the one who introduced me to crossword puzzles, which is something else I still enjoy. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I even helped my father do jobs around the house just to spend that much-coveted time with him. When our basement flooded more than once, I helped him dig a ditch to lay pipe that would carry the water in a direction away from the house. When he decided to build a deck off the back of the house, I was right there helping out. <br /><br />I also made my only foray into the world of athletics because of him, playing for the church softball team he coached. I spent most of my time in right field, but he eventually taught me to pitch, which resulted in my first, and only, sports injury. I was pitching during practice one day, and he was hitting balls to all the fielders. With no warning, he hit one straight back at me, hitting me in the face. My glasses broke, and my nose bled---and I was done for the day!<br /><br />When I was old enough to start playing an instrument in school, it was a foregone conclusion that I would play the trumpet, the instrument that he had played in younger days. To be honest, I wound up wishing I had chosen something else, but I stuck with it, year after year, because it made HIM happy. Both of my parents were at every concert, football game, and band competition. They were some of the favorite band bus chaperones, and I was often told how lucky I was to have parents like them.<br /><br />When I was sixteen, I realized that he was spending more and more time away from home in the evenings. Naive and sheltered as I was, it took me a while to figure out why, but when I did, that was the first time he broke my heart. The second time was a few months later when he moved out of our home. The third time was that summer, when he took his girlfriend and her daughters to California with him rather than taking me and my brother. The fourth time was the following year, after the divorce, when we all learned of his first remarriage by reading about it in the Sunday paper. <br /><br />Needless to say, there was a period of time after that when I had very negative feelings toward him and refused to have anything to do with him. Gradually, however, I was able to forgive him and attempt a slightly different relationship. After all, he was still my father, but he was no longer my hero.<br /><br />Through my college years, I stayed in touch with him through letters and telephone calls, as well as the occasional dinner. I still wanted to make him proud, but it seemed as though he was only willing to be part of my life when it was convenient for him.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />The next heartbreak came with my first wedding, in 1985, when neither of my parents showed up because they were each sure the other would be there. I missed having him there to walk me down the aisle, and although my brother filled the job admirably, it just wasn't the same. <br /><br />When I had children, I started seeing signs of the man he had been in MY childhood. He spent time with them, laughed and joked with them, and spoiled them just as he had me. After he married Jean, who became known as "Grandma Jean, the teddy bear lady," she seemed just as eager to love and spoil them. <br /><br />When my youngest was not quite four years old, we moved about 150 miles away, to the other side of Ohio. From that time on, I never got answers to letters, phone calls were picked up by the answering machine and never returned, and the only communication we had was a yearly Christmas card with a check. In time, even those stopped coming, with no explanation.<br /><br />Even after he stopped communicating in that limited way, I continued to write to let him know what was going on with us. I let him know about weddings, grandchildren, my cancer, and any other important events, but still no response.<br /><br />When Jean died four years ago, I had to make a choice...attend her funeral to support him, or walk my youngest daughter down the aisle for her wedding. As her only surviving parent, I didn't feel there WAS a choice, so I sent a sympathy card and explained why I wouldn't be there. Once again, I was ignored--and that was the last time I tried to get any sort of response from him.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">About a year ago, when my mother was visiting a friend in a nursing home, she discovered my father in the hallway in a wheelchair. She said that although she spoke to him, he didn't appear to recognize her or comprehend what she told him. At that point, I knew it was only a matter of time, and I think I unconsciously began to mourn for him.<br /><br />When I got the news Sunday morning that he was gone, I didn't feel a loss, I just felt numb. As the week has continued, that has not changed. I have not shed a tear, and I don't miss him any more or less than I have for years. I just hope that somewhere in his heart, he has always known that I loved him and that I forgave him for the pain he caused. <br /><br />(I don't know how I'll feel when I go to his funeral on Saturday, but I hope I can pull it off with dignity and grace, whatever happens.)<br /><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /><br /><br /></div>Teresa Kanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637414178733769112noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2847788001250269655.post-65173162201987855962019-02-12T00:00:00.000-05:002019-02-18T15:12:59.757-05:00Listers Gotta List February TREASURED Challenge, Day 12: Favorite Love Songs<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">
<img alt="2-12" border="0" height="121" src="https://i.ibb.co/jkdgjr6/2-12.jpg" width="400" /></div>
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</div>
<ol>
<li>Because You Love Me, Jo Dee Messina</li>
<li>You're Beautiful, James Blunt</li>
<li>I Will Always Love You, Dolly Parton</li>
<li>Truly Madly Deeply, Savage Garden</li>
<li>How Deep Is Your Love, BeeGees</li>
<li>Endless Love, Diana Ross & Lionel Ritchie</li>
</ol>
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Teresa Kanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637414178733769112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2847788001250269655.post-49070080361170087342019-02-11T00:00:00.001-05:002019-02-18T14:42:59.327-05:00Boho Berry Snail Mail Rewind, Day 11: My Typical Day<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">
<img alt="2-11" border="0" height="300" src="https://i.ibb.co/1M710X7/2-11.jpg" width="400" /></div>
<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;">
Wake up (anywhere between 5 am and 9 am).</div>
<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;">
Take care of the cat</div>
<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;">
God time--Bible reading, devotional, prayer</div>
<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;">
Cappuccino (and sometimes breakfast)</div>
<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;">
Watch news/morning show</div>
<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;">
Chores</div>
<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;">
Lunch</div>
<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;">
Read/watch TV</div>
<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;">
Dinner</div>
<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;">
Social activities</div>
<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;">
Television</div>
<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;">
Bed around midnight</div>
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Teresa Kanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637414178733769112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2847788001250269655.post-5402730548452572792019-02-11T00:00:00.000-05:002019-02-18T14:33:48.252-05:00Listers Gotta List February TREASURED Challenge, Day 11: Things I Treasure<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">
<img alt="2-11" border="0" height="217" src="https://i.ibb.co/YyMXRVG/2-11.jpg" width="400" /></div>
<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;">
</div>
<ol>
<li>Family</li>
<li>Friends</li>
<li>Pets</li>
<li>Faith</li>
<li>Books</li>
<li>Memories</li>
<li>Feeling content</li>
<li>Loving and being loved</li>
</ol>
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Teresa Kanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637414178733769112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2847788001250269655.post-6894532638793246182019-02-10T00:00:00.001-05:002019-02-17T22:09:21.138-05:00Boho Berry Snail Mail Rewind, Day 10: Things I Collect.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">
<img alt="2-10" border="0" height="198" src="https://i.ibb.co/w0Hksxt/2-10.jpg" width="400" /></div>
<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;">
</div>
<ol>
<li>Books</li>
<li>Journals</li>
<li>Teddy bears</li>
<li>M&M memorabilia</li>
</ol>
<br />
<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
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Teresa Kanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637414178733769112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2847788001250269655.post-44231707348756530762019-02-10T00:00:00.000-05:002019-02-17T22:05:41.090-05:00Listers Gotta List February TREASURED Challenge, Day 10: Sweet Tooth Must-Haves<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">
<img alt="2-10" border="0" height="101" src="https://i.ibb.co/Rhn3pRw/2-10.jpg" width="400" /></div>
<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;">
</div>
<ol>
<li>Chocolate chip cookies</li>
<li>Red velvet cake</li>
<li>German chocolate cake</li>
<li>7 layer cookie bars</li>
<li>Chocolate donuts</li>
<li>Cheesecake</li>
<li>Creme brulee</li>
<li>Gingerbread cookies</li>
<li>Mango sorbet</li>
<li>M&Ms</li>
</ol>
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Teresa Kanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637414178733769112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2847788001250269655.post-7578228106434709712019-02-09T00:00:00.001-05:002019-02-17T21:51:38.910-05:00Boho Berry Snail Mail Rewind, Day 9: My First Job<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">
<img alt="2-9" border="0" height="148" src="https://i.ibb.co/f0DkrnH/2-9.png" width="400" /></div>
<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;">
My first full-time job was as a summer babysitter to twin girls. I was in high school, and they were five years old. I took care of them five days a week, from 8 to 5 every day. One of the perks was that the family had a pool, and I was allowed to take the girls swimming every afternoon once they woke up from their nap. </div>
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<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
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Teresa Kanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637414178733769112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2847788001250269655.post-11898569464902773682019-02-09T00:00:00.000-05:002019-02-17T21:45:35.161-05:00Listers Gotta List February TREASURED Challenge, Day 9: How I Find New Music<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">
<img alt="2-9" border="0" height="81" src="https://i.ibb.co/10LfnJH/2-9.jpg" width="400" /></div>
<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;">
</div>
<ol>
<li>Radio</li>
<li>Spotify</li>
<li>Pandora</li>
</ol>
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<br />
Teresa Kanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637414178733769112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2847788001250269655.post-39670011819607665392019-02-08T00:00:00.001-05:002019-02-17T21:34:09.175-05:00Boho Berry Snail Mail Rewind, Day 8: Five Years From Now<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">
<img alt="2-8" border="0" src="https://i.ibb.co/ZXrmwvp/2-8.jpg" /></div>
<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;">
Five years from now, I hope that my life will still look a lot like it does now...enjoying a lack of scheduled things I HAVE to do while having a fairly full schedule of things I WANT to do, both on my own and with my husband. I would like to see us be able to add a few more travel opportunities per year, though.</div>
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Teresa Kanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637414178733769112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2847788001250269655.post-33424904902680335512019-02-08T00:00:00.000-05:002019-02-17T21:23:58.833-05:00Listers Gotta List February TREASURED Challenge, Day Eight: Habits I Want To Develop<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">
<img alt="2-8" border="0" height="58" src="https://i.ibb.co/54Pcbnh/2-8.jpg" width="400" /></div>
<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;">
</div>
<ol>
<li>Exercising at least 3 days a week</li>
<li>Drinking more water</li>
<li>A regular sleep schedule</li>
</ol>
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Teresa Kanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637414178733769112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2847788001250269655.post-37439794974257210652019-02-07T00:00:00.001-05:002019-02-17T21:08:03.767-05:00Boho Berry Snail Mail Rewind Day Seven: My Favorite Part Of School<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">
<img alt="2-7" border="0" height="85" src="https://i.ibb.co/5L0rg91/2-7.jpg" width="400" /></div>
<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;">
Elementary school was pretty much just there for me, as it wasn't all that challenging. In junior high, I was introduced to the literature side of English class, and that became my favorite part of school until college. In college, my favorite classes were anything that had to do with creative writing or literature. </div>
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Teresa Kanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637414178733769112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2847788001250269655.post-87839822935784054052019-02-07T00:00:00.000-05:002019-02-17T20:57:45.911-05:00Listers Gotta List February TREASURED Challenge, Day Seven: Girlfriends I Would Escape With<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">
<img alt="2-7" border="0" height="221" src="https://i.ibb.co/V9t86rd/2-7.jpg" width="400" /></div>
<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;">
</div>
<ol>
<li>My mother</li>
<li>My daughters</li>
<li>My cousins</li>
<li>Women in my Monday night Bible study</li>
<li>Women in my small group </li>
</ol>
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<br />
Teresa Kanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637414178733769112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2847788001250269655.post-18593575200129408352019-02-06T00:00:00.000-05:002019-02-16T13:38:41.107-05:00Boho Berry February Snail Mail Rewind Day Six: I'm Really Good At...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">
<img alt="2-6" border="0" height="206" src="https://i.ibb.co/D7gqf9W/2-6.jpg" width="400" /></div>
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<br />
<br />
<ol>
<li>Making lists</li>
<li>Reading people</li>
<li>Teaching</li>
<li>Showing love</li>
<li>Baking</li>
</ol>
Teresa Kanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637414178733769112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2847788001250269655.post-1852056162907205902019-02-05T00:00:00.001-05:002019-02-16T13:14:55.404-05:00 Boho Berry February Snail Mail Rewind Day Five: My Morning Routine<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">
<img alt="2-5" border="0" height="320" src="https://i.ibb.co/1bgV6Gj/2-5.png" width="320" /></div>
<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;">
</div>
<ol>
<li>Feed and water cat</li>
<li>Scoop litter box</li>
<li>Make breakfast</li>
<li>Watch news</li>
<li>Call Mom</li>
</ol>
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Teresa Kanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637414178733769112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2847788001250269655.post-12003032954821625142019-02-05T00:00:00.000-05:002019-02-16T13:09:27.712-05:00Listers Gotta LIst February TREASURED Challenge, Day Five: Current Addictions<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">
<img alt="2-5" border="0" height="101" src="https://i.ibb.co/zNqVtqt/2-5.jpg" width="400" /></div>
<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;">
</div>
<ol>
<li>Chocolate</li>
<li>Reading</li>
<li>Prompt books</li>
<li>Listing/journaling</li>
<li>Stickers</li>
<li>Sweet tea</li>
</ol>
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Teresa Kanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637414178733769112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2847788001250269655.post-9016551823634178112019-02-04T00:00:00.001-05:002019-02-16T12:56:53.907-05:00Boho Berry February Snail Mail Rewind Day Four: A Challenge I Have Overcome<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">
<img alt="2-4" border="0" height="249" src="https://i.ibb.co/zVbz8GJ/2-4.jpg" width="400" /></div>
<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;">
There are so many challenges I've overcome, I don't know where to start:</div>
<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;">
</div>
<ol>
<li>Being extremely shy/introverted</li>
<li>Being from a "broken home" and losing my close relationship with my father</li>
<li>Attempting suicide</li>
<li>Domestic abuse--physical, verbal, emotional</li>
<li>Breast cancer</li>
</ol>
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Teresa Kanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637414178733769112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2847788001250269655.post-33232107766867768272019-02-04T00:00:00.000-05:002019-02-16T12:51:22.972-05:00Listers Gotta List February TREASURED CHALLENGE, Day Four: Best Romantic Movies<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">
<img alt="2-4" border="0" height="91" src="https://i.ibb.co/vPv4pJY/2-4.jpg" width="400" /></div>
<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;">
</div>
<ol>
<li>Love Story</li>
<li>Love Actually</li>
<li>The Notebook</li>
<li>Titanic</li>
<li>Pretty Woman</li>
<li>Casablanca</li>
<li>Dirty Dancing</li>
<li>Breakfast At Tiffany's</li>
<li>Ghost</li>
<li>P.S. I Love You</li>
</ol>
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Teresa Kanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637414178733769112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2847788001250269655.post-54619060851292775602019-02-03T00:00:00.001-05:002019-02-16T12:38:46.256-05:00Boho Berry February Snail Mail Rewind, Day Three: When I Was Young<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">
<img alt="2-3" border="0" height="371" src="https://i.ibb.co/TmrC3G1/2-3.jpg" width="400" /></div>
<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;">
</div>
<ol>
<li>I spent nearly all my free time reading or listening to music</li>
<li>I loved to spend time with my cousins</li>
<li>I dreamed of several different careers: veterinarian, actress, singer, teacher</li>
<li>I always knew I wanted to be a wife and mother</li>
<li>Every holiday was a HUGE deal</li>
<li>I was a lot more fearless</li>
</ol>
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Teresa Kanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14637414178733769112noreply@blogger.com0