Saying Goodbye

 My husband passed away on December 26, 2023. His Celebration of Life will be held on January 13, 2024. I already know I'm not going to be emotionally ready to stand up and speak, but tonight I put some thoughts down on paper and decided to share them here, where I can take as long to type them out as I need.

I want to start off with a poem I read online. If anyone knows the author, please let me know so I can add their name.

She waited

her entire life

to find somebody

she could sit with 

in silence,

feeling wanted,

appreciated,

and adored,

and when

it finally happened

she knew very well

why it was worth the wait.

Barry was definitely worth the wait. He was, other than my children and grandchildren, the best thing that ever happened to me. He was my rock, my confidante, my best friend, my everything.

For those of you who don't know, I met Barry online, in an email group. I enjoyed his sense of humor, but since he lived in Arizona and I lived in Ohio, I wasn't looking for anythingmore than friendship. Little did I know that God had very different plans for us.

Eventually, we moved on to private chats, where we spent hours getting to know each other better. One day, I asked Barry why he was spending so much time talking to me when he should be looking for someone closer to home to have a real relationship with. When he told me that he'd already found her, I actually asked him who she was and was shocked when he typed back "You, silly!"

Most people can't believe that we talked for six months, online and on the phone, before we ever exchanged photographs, but we both wanted to concentrate on things more important than looks. I will always be glad we made that choice because the first time I saw a picture of him, I discovered he was not my usual "type"--and I might have let that deter me from even talking to him early on, and I  would have missed out on SO much!

Barry was always a giver, whether it was extravagant gifts for special occasions, my weekly bouquet of flowers, or just a candy bar or soda when he went to the gas station. And when my children still lived at home, he made sure they had their favorite snacks, or a ride to a friend's house, or whatever else he could do for them--including being the mediator when my anger got the better of me over something trivial one of them had said or done.

Barry was always my biggest cheerleader. He was the main reason I finally decided to publish a book of my poetry and stop h, unfortunately, is still a work in progress, but I will keep working on it, and I will finish my book of short stories as well.

Barry was generally a quiet man, but when he had something to say, he wasn't afraid to speak out. He had very strong opinions at times, and heaven help anyone who tried to change his mind--even me! But he also shared words of wisdom with those who were willing to listen, aGnd I pray they will remember his advice and continue to follow it.

Life is going to be different for all of us without him, but he would want us to keep living it and to be happy. I know that he is happy and healthy in Heaven, and I know I will see him again one day.

Goodbye for now, Barry. I will always love you.