Friday, May 2, 2014

My Fears

Day 2 photo 3-of-my-biggest-fears_zps510bf65a.jpg

Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.

1) Snakes
I have been afraid of snakes since I was five years old.  While we were on vacation in Florida, my parents took me to the zoo in Miami, including the Reptile House. That night, in our hotel, I had nightmares about snakes, and woke up screaming. A few months later, we came home from some outing to discover what, at the time, seemed to me a HUGE black snake, curled up on our front porch. I refused to get out of the car until my father got it off the porch and out of our yard.

My most up close and personal experience with snakes came when I was eight years old. It was summer, and I was walking through a tobacco field with one of my cousins. Her father, my Uncle Bill, came up beside us with a hoe and, before we knew what was happening, he had cut the head off a copperhead that was mere inches from my leg.

Since that time, I've had a completely irrational fear of any and all snakes. I can't even stand to see them on television (which means I cringe several times an episode while watching Survivor!).  I decided to tempt fate by watching Snakes On A Plane with the rest of the family a few years ago....and wound up hallucinating snakes on our living room floor by the time it was over!

2)  Dying
It's not the actual idea of dying that I'm afraid of, so much as the thought of leaving my children without a parent now that both of my former husbands are deceased. None of them have even reached 30 yet, and that's too early to have to face being an orphan. They need their mother around for a VERY long time yet. This became a very real fear last year when I was diagnosed with least now I am considered NED (no evidence of disease), so that eases my mind somewhat.

3) Disappointing those whose opinions matter to me
I have always been a people pleaser, so knowing that I have said or done something which disappoints those I care about has always been difficult for me. Even when I know that what I am doing is the right thing for me, or for my family, it doesn't make it any easier to handle. This became an issue/fear for me from a very early age, as my mother was always extremely vocal about her disappointment.

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