Wednesday, May 21, 2014
Mom, Dad and Me
Describe your relationship with your parents.
I'm going to break this into two sections, childhood and adulthood.
As a child, I was most definitely a Daddy's girl. If I wanted to do something, I knew that my best bet was to ask Dad, and then let him go to bat for me with Mom. I loved hanging out with him, whether it was for a trip to the library, an outdoor project, or just sitting in the living room reading our own books. When he moved out during my junior year of high school, all of that was gone--and for a while we didn't have more between us than the occasional short phone call.
Mom was my Girl Scout leader, and a room mother at my school, so I spent a lot of good times with her, as well. However, the older I got, the more strained our relationship became. I felt judged and found wanting by her, and belittled for my introverted personality. She didn't understand my love of writing poetry, or how I could be so happy to spend so much time alone in my bedroom. I always felt that my younger brother was her favorite child, and that I would never be able to measure up.
I haven't seen or spoken to my father since the summer of 1996. After I moved away from my hometown, it was as though I ceased to exist for him. I wrote letters and sent pictures, and got no response. I called, got the answering machine and no return calls. The years I sent him Christmas cards, I got one in return, with a check tucked in it. When I stopped sending cards, I stopped getting them as well. I wish I knew why, but he's never answered that question for me, and I suppose he never will.
On the other hand, things with my mother have gotten much better over the years. I no longer feel constantly judged by her, and we are more like friends than I ever would have thought possible even ten years ago. In the past year, while dealing with my health issues, we've gone from talking to each other once a week to talking three or more times a week. And her visits to us aren't the source of stress they used to be, either. I tend to tell people that she seems to have mellowed with age. :)