Thursday, March 27, 2014


Unfortunately, I have been in a place where I thought about giving up on life.  I was eighteen years old, and a student in a nursing program. I was not happy with where my life was at that point: I had never wanted to be a nurse, but felt pushed into it by both my mother and my paternal grandmother.  I had been in the candy-striper program at our local hospital while in high school, and that was when I realized it wasn't for me. I spent a LOT of my volunteer days signing in on the time log, finding an out of the way place to hide for two hours, and then signing out.

I tried to talk to my mother and explain that what I really wanted to do was to be a teacher, but she wasn't willing to listen to to what I had to say. So off to nursing school I went. Academically, I had a very good first quarter, but when it came to working in the hospital, I was miserable. We were assigned to a geriatric unit, and there were several times I would work with a patient, then come back two days later to discover they had passed away. For someone as sensitive and emotional as I am, that was a very difficult situation.

I started the second quarter feeling nothing but trapped and miserable. By the time we were two weeks in, I knew I could no longer deal with the situation. I tried talking to my mother again, but my f ull scholarship to the program, in her opinion, obligated me to stay where I was.

When I went back to school at the end of that weekend, I was at my wit's end. I told everyone I was going to bed early, wrote a note for my roommate, and proceeded to take an entire bottle of Tylenol. I then went to sleep, never expecting to wake up.

My roommate found me, alerted the housemother, and the ambulance came to take me to the hospital, where I had the "joy" of having my stomach pumped.  Luckily I suffered no lasting damage--and I was FINALLY able to get my mother to accept that I wasn't cut out to be a nurse.


  1. So sad that you ended up going to this extreme to make your mother realize how much you hated nursing. I'm happy that your roommate found you.

    1. Thanks, am I. :) I hate to think about all the great things I would have missed out on if my life had ended at 18,

  2. Pretty scary. You are brave to share this, but you never could help someone else. Life hits us hard sometimes and yet you made it. Yay!


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...