Saturday, January 4, 2014

Yeah, yeah, yeah

"I was spanked as a kid, and I turned out fine, so I'm going to spank my kids."

Yeah, yeah, yeah.....

You were spanked as kid, so now you believe that it's okay for an adult to hit a child in order to try to teach them how to behave. Somehow, I don't see that as turning out fine. I see that as continuing the cycle of violence.

I was spanked as a kid, and I can't tell you even ONE of the things it was a consequence for at this point. I CAN tell you that every time I got hit with a belt, or a hand, or a hairbrush, it made me angry at whichever parent was hitting me at the time. It also made me decide, as young as 7 or 8, that I would never lay a hand on a child of mine as a punishment/consequence.

I've been a parent for almost 28 years now, and raised three very different children--and not one of them was ever spanked. And I've heard a million times how parents like me are what is wrong with kids today.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.....

Refusing to spank my children does not mean that I refused to discipline them. We were discussing this subject at the dinner table earlier in the week, and my youngest, who is now 21, summed it up very well. She said that all three of them always knew that if they did something wrong, there was going to be a consequence for it, and they always knew in advance what that consequence would be, because of the list of rules and consequences we kept posted on the refrigerator. They knew what was expected of them, they knew their boundaries, and they knew that we wouldn't accept anything less without correction.

I just wish that more people would realize that hitting their children is the EASY answer, but not necessarily the BEST answer.

Yeah, yeah, yeah......

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