Sunday, January 12, 2014

I Want My Life Back!

Prompt: Can I just get my...

I want my life back!  Is that too much to ask?  With the year I had last year, I don't really think it is.

I want to be able to schedule my life around something other than doctor appointments or treatment schedules. I want it to be about the fun things that Barry and I used to do....just taking off and going shopping, or going to visit someplace we've read about online and want to see; going to the festivals we enjoy; going to concerts, musicals, plays; going out to dinner for our anniversary and our birthdays.  All those things got put on hold last year, and I want this year to be about taking them back.  We've already started in a small way....we have tickets to see Celtic Woman in May, and we've already bought our tickets for Ren Fest in the fall--and best of all, there are plans to have the grandson here for a week or two in the summer!

I want to get my energy level back to what it used to be. I want to be able to wash dishes without having to go sit down halfway through. I want to be able to run errands with Barry without feeling exhausted when we get home. I want to make it past 3 pm without having to hit the couch for a two hour nap.

I want my hair back!  That's the most shallow part of this recovery process for me....I miss my hair.  As you can see from the pic I posted on Dec. 31st, I do have hair again (after shaving it in June when it started falling out in clumps), but it's still very short, and it's at a stage where it gives me fits every morning.  It's coming in much wavier/curlier than before (it was always SUPER straight), and being this short, I wake up with it sticking up all over the place--just combing it is never sufficient, I have to wet it down , and sometimes even that isn't enough to tame it.  For someone who was always used to being able to "wash and go," this is a huge adjustment!  LOL

I don't mean for this post to sound like I'm feeling sorry for myself, because I'm not, by any means. I'm very grateful for every day that I wake up and can get out of bed and do SOMETHING, ANYTHING....I've learned how easily that can be taken away from me, after all.  What this is, really, is a set of goals and expectations for the rest of 2014. I know that I can get these things back, and I know that, with time, I will get them back. I just get a little impatient sometimes and want them all back NOW!

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