Monday, April 2, 2012

B is for Blessings




Day Two of the A to Z Challenge, and today I'm talking about my blessings.  Seeing as how I've been whining a bit lately about what a "difficult" year this has been, in the first three months, it's good to stop and remind myself that I am, in fact, richly blessed.

My parents obviously played a HUGE part in how I started out, both in terms of my DNA and what they taught me along the way. Unfortunately, they also played a part in my low self-esteem and constant self-doubt. When your mother tells you, from the time you are a preteen, that you're crazy and you're going to end up locked up somewhere, that can seriously start to mess with your head!! And when she tells you that your poetry is just a waste of paper and ink and time, and makes you "weird," that makes you doubt what you've put your heart and soul into creating. And then, when your father leaves the family when you're 17, and slowly but surely cuts you out of his life, except for a yearly Christmas card....well, then you just KNOW that you're not good enough. :(
Don't get me wrong......there were a lot of good times.....I was an only child for six years, and spoiled rotten. I was Daddy's girl right up until the day he left home...which, by the way, was a matter of weeks after I SCREAMED at him to just get out if he'd rather be with his girlfriend than with us (more guilt issues, there, believe me!!) . Both before and after my brother came along, we did all the fun family stuff that "perfect" families do....and most of the time I would rather have been hanging out with my family--immediate and extended--than doing anything else. I think it was that "perfect" life that made the bad stuff that much more difficult to take. Overall, the good outweighs the bad, and I know that I could have done a LOT worse!!!

My grandparents--both sets were wonderful people. To my dad's parents, I was, for six years, the only grandchild they really had a chance to spoil, as my cousins lived in California and we were all in Ohio, and even when Mark came along, they just spoiled BOTH of us. They were always there for birthdays and Christmas morning, they went to band concerts, and in junior high I was able to go to their house every day for lunch....a nice half hour break from school, and REAL food!!
From my mother's parents, especially my grandmother, I got a sense of what a strong, abiding faith was all about, as well as a strong work ethic from both of them. And Granny was/is my role model of the type of grandmother I want to be, and how I look at life. I may get older, as I can't control that, but I will never be OLD.  I'll always be there for my children and grandchildren, and be having fun with them somewhere, somehow.
My mother's entire family was a big part of my growing up....aunts, uncles and cousins were always around. I will always remember Mom's youngest sister, Loretta, who was only seven years older than me, and was always more of a friend to me than anything else. I can remember once, when she had a date with Dad's cousin, Mike, and the two of them took me with them.....I have a strip of pics from a photo booth from that night!!! (Mike was another blessing to me....as a teenager, it was SO cool to go out riding in his Corvette on a weekend afternoon...definitely an ego boost!!) Unfortunately, I lost both Mike and Loretta too soon.....and I miss them both!!
As I said, I have a huge brood of cousin's on that side, and we all hung out together in the summer....weekends and fair week, especially. Granny would have a whole houseful of us, and load us up to go to the fair.....but we had to earn our way by picking beans and bagging them up for her to take to the market in Huntington to sell. We'd go to movies, to the mall, to amusement parks....and Granny was always right there in the midst of us. Over the years, the group included, in some combination, me, Mark, Malynda, Mary Ann, Todd, Ladonna, Rick, Nickole, Michele, and CJ.


My children-Brian, Samantha and Amy. Many of the changes I've made in my life have been for their sakes, so I would definitely not be the woman I am today, with the life I have, if not for them. They will always be the BIGGEST blessings in my life!!!!!!


My husband--without him, I don't know where I'd be, or who I'd be. He helped me find the strength that I had lost, the courage I never knew I possessed. Although I would never change for anyone, I know that the changes in me are BECAUSE of him.

2 comments:

  1. sounds like although you have had some pretty heavy challenges in your younger life, all in all you have a great support system---esp. the grand-parents---love hearing about you---you write very honestly

    ReplyDelete
  2. Excellent post. It is always good to take a moment to remember our blessings.

    ReplyDelete

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