Friday, May 13, 2011

A Constant Struggle



#1 I always struggle with…..

I always struggle with having confidence in myself and my abilities. It doesn't matter what I'm doing, or trying to do, I tend to have a negative attitude about it. It can be cooking, writing, or even parenting....I doubt myself at every turn.

I'm not entirely sure why this is, but I do have a theory. Growing up, nothing I ever did was good enough. No matter how hard I worked at something, I could have/should have done more.
I was not complimented on what I did, but disparaged for what I DIDN'T do. So these days I still hear those voices in my head as I go about my daily life.

This past weekend offers a very good example. It was youngest daughter's senior prom, and she asked me to do her hair for her. She described what she wanted, and we practiced it, so I felt ready to accomplish it on Saturday. Yet, when it was done, even though she said it was perfect, I felt that I'd let her down and that it should have looked better.

What this means in my every day life is that I don't always take criticism very well. I'm already being critical on myself, so when someone else has something negative to say, it goes straight to my heart and that voice says "See? I TOLD you that you're not good enough!" I've been trying for a couple of years now to work on blocking that voice, and substituting good thoughts....but it doesn't always work, unfortunately. Doesn't mean I won't KEEP trying, though!!!

2 comments:

  1. You are good enough and your are perfect just the way you are. Girl, you need to shut them voices up becuase we are exactly how we were meant to turn out. the bottom line is, we are not here to please others but simply do the best we can. Life is trial and error, and making the best of every situation. Your daughter should not have looked better becuase I'm sure she looked perfect. So, please don't sruggle and say you over came it. xoxoxo :-)

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  2. Thanks...my husband keeps telling me pretty much the same things! :)

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