Saturday, April 30, 2011

I'm Starting To Think....

...that I might be suffering from depression, or that the tendency I've had toward bipolar is getting stronger. I've always had to deal with SAD (seasonal affective disorder), where I've been more "down" during the winter, or even when it's a really dark, gloomy day. But recently, I've noticed the "blah" days...days where the tears are always right there, just looking for an excuse to fall, where the lump in my throat won't go away, where I have no motivation and just don't give a damn about anything...are coming more often, and even on days like today when it's beautiful and sunny.
I guess I'm just going to have to break down and go talk to a professional, as much as I've tried to avoid that route. I just don't want to give any sort of credibility to all those times my mother told me that I was "crazy," and somehow it feels like getting my depression diagnosed would do that. GRRR....I HATE those voices from the past that never seem to get out of my head!!!!

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